Dustin Best says the most important part of being a teacher is knowing why you want to be in class every day.
Best said the “why” was always about creating those safe, secure environments and being that person the kids could talk to.
He taught for years at the elementary school level. Now he is an instructional coach, which means he builds curriculum for his school. But having grown up in a small town and lived through bullying and hate crimes, and Disgraceful discharge from the army for being gay. The best knows that having a safe space is critical for a child.
“There has to be someone in these schools so the kids can see that I don’t need to suffer because there is someone here I can talk to and I hope they can help me,” Best said.
He remembered six stories in which the mother of a child told him that her son loved My Little Pony and other stereotypical “girly” things at home, but was too shy to wear the clothes he liked outside. Afzal emphasized that liking a particular TV show or type of game says nothing about a child’s gender or gender identity, however, he wanted to help this boy feel more comfortable and he and the child bought a pair of My Little Pony stockings.
“I was wearing it when I gave it to him,” Best said. And she’s come to me ever since, and you know she’s like, ‘I changed my kid’s life because he was wearing those socks and then he just started wearing whatever he wants outside and we just wanted him to know that we support whatever he wants to do and whoever he wants to be is being “.
according to The 2022 Trevor Questionnaire on LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health45% of LGBTQ+ youth have seriously considered suicide in the past year. This number is higher for transgender and non-binary children.
The presence of an emphatic adult in that child’s life—such as a teacher but especially a parent—significantly reduces this risk.
“A lot of these kids need someone who wants to listen to them and loves them unconditionally for who they are and shows that it’s okay to be who they are regardless of themselves,” Best said. “It doesn’t matter who you are.”
Dr. Christina Jones is a pediatric emergency medicine physician and senior medical advisor at PM Pediatric Care. She knows that a parent who is tuned in to a child’s mental state can be vital.
“Do they withdraw more? Are they not engaging in activities, or engaging in the way they used to, or with the same kind of enthusiasm?” She said. “Do they express hopelessness or look forward to nothing without them, even if they are open or honest about any kind of worrying, anxious, or sad feelings?”
She also recommended looking for changes in eating and sleeping – too much or too little can indicate depression or anxiety in any child.
But she also added that destigmatizing the conversation could be a major step in helping children, too. Asking children to share what was good and bad about their day and sharing the mental struggles of adults—within reason—can help children open up about what they are going through.
“That sets the tone that it’s okay to talk about these things,” Jones said.
Johns also recommends speaking with a doctor or guidance counselor if you’re looking for resources for your child to help him navigate his or her sexuality or gender identity.
Here are resources for LGBTQIA+ individuals struggling with their mental health (starred resources are crisis lines for individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts):
National Queen and Healers via Color Grid
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